Oooh, I'm so scared!

Oh no, not the i-phone! Oops, can you even call it that? And is it available on America's Best Network (TM)? Whoops, I guess not. People are already starting to see through your ruse.

By the way, good luck selling that crap from PRISON.


CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Out with the old, in with the new

So long 2006...


RAZR. KRAZR. Vcast. VZ Navigator. Chocolate. The Q. What a year. Can 2007 get any better?

...hello 2007!


Yep, I think it can. I'm probably gonna have my first 3-way -- I've been talking to these two chicks on their myspace page, and I think it's gonna happen. BOO-YAH!

Two Things I Love

Anyone who knows me knows my two loves:

1. Pussy
2. Cell phones

I am going to try to keep this blog clean, so I'm going with a different kind of pussy (i.e. cat), but they're still chicks, so you get my point.

You've Heard of RAZR and KRAZR...

Introducing GAZR. Our new phone for those of the alternative persuasion. Not only is it fabulous looking, but it is fabulous sounding as well. It comes loaded with 50 of the top Show Tunes albums of all time and some amazing screen savers. What's more, buy now and your phone comes loaded with the It's Raining Men ring tone and a custom Ring back tune performed by Right Said Fred.

I Love Halloween

Halloween is my favorite night of the year. It's a great night to dress-up, get out, and use those free nights and weekend minutes. What's more, it's an amazing night to score with the ladies.

Meet Cindy and Jane. Let's just say that when they came by my door last night, not only did they get the 10 free minutes of mobile to mobile talk time that I passed out to all the kids, but they each also got a liberal sampling of 120 free Rollover minutes Verizon Guy Style...if you know what I mean and I do mean it. You know your call is going to go through when one girl is dressed as a vagina and the other as a slutty Pebbles or something. And yes, my guess is that they can both still feel me now.